Fraser Island

When Ed and I decided to take the step, have a year off and travel round Australia, my age immediately rang alarm bells. Being on the cusp of 30, I must admit that I worried about being surrounded by 18 year old backpackers and whether I would fit in. Since being away I haven't worried about it once, until we booked the Fraser Island Trip that is. The trip was a 3 day, 2 night 4x4 safari, which involved 11 people touring round the island in a large 4x4 and camping and cooking together each night. 11 people, stuck in a confined space, together all day and night, would be seen as an adventure by some or a potential disaster by a miserable old cunt like me.

Well hands up, I was wrong, because we have just got back from one of the best trips I've ever been on. By the luck of the draw we were put with a fantastic set of people who made the trip what it was. Okay one of the girls looked like the bride of chuckie, couldn't handle talking about vibrators over breakfast and thought a capital city of Europe was Portugal but hey, 10 out of 11 ain't bad.

The actual trip itself involved a lot of driving during the day to see the natural wonders of Fraser Island and it truly was amazing. From desert like patches of sand, to spectacular fresh water lakes and a phenomenal ship wreck on the beach.

Then at night we would pitch our tents, crack open several beers and get to know our companions. German, Dutch, American, English and Irish, all of them were incredibly funny and entertaining. There was Simon, the German medic, who would introduce the drinking game slaps with 'Vot is ze name of ze game' and 'Vot is ze aim of ze game', we had a great night walk to the ship wreck with Rebecca and Nick,

but our hearts went to Sarah - a bi polar, social worker from Chicago who had a cleavage as loud and proud as her voice. A constant source of entertainment, we just loved her company and here are just a few of her fabulous beach poses, from our mock photo shoot, that had the group in absolute hysterics.
After getting back to the mainland we organised a beach front barbie to say a proper goodbye to our group. However, there was one person that we couldn't bear to leave, so Matt, Ed and Eric are now being joined by Sarah for a few days, as we head down to the Gold Coast to hit the Theme parks.

P.S. Eric is currently in a garage after they found break fluid leaking down his leg. We are starting to get the feeling that Eric doesn't like us very much.

The Shitsundays

Magnetic island - named by Captain Cook as his compass played up when he sailed by in 1770 - provided us with a lovely setting for a couple of days rest and no driving - we had to leave Eric on the mainland which was very difficult and highly emotional. We took some lovely walks around the island , in particular the fort walks up to the lookout where Japanese invaders were intercepted during WWII. This was also the place where we saw our first Koala of the trip, they are the cutest things in the world (apart from Kim Jong-il that is).

We spent one evening catching up with a fellow 'hostie' from Reef encounters and then, unable to cope without him any longer, we headed back to be reunited with Eric and made our way to Airlie beach. This place was an altogether different experience and being a mainstay on the backpacker route meant that the bars were full every night of the week, many of them holding wet T-shirt competitions. With a $500 prize at stake I begged Matt to enter but he wasn't having any of it. That's the last time I'll listen to him moaning about our financial situation.

The reason this place is so popular is that it is the gateway to the Whitsundays, a group of seventy four islands that we decided to explore on a three day cruise aboard the Alexander Stewart - how decadent. A classic timber yacht known as 'The Romance of Sail', we enjoyed sunbathing, snorkeling, swimming and sleeping in a shite-smelling room. Oh yes, on the first night the toilet waste system overflowed right next to our cabin which meant we were staying in nothing better than a cess pit. Seeing as Australia is currently going through its worst drought in 100 years we could at least rely on the weather to make our days relaxing and blissful, couldn't we? OF COURSE WE COULDN'T. Whilst it was in no way dreadful, it was overcast a lot of the time and we had rain too. The inept crew members just added to the whole farce and Matt and I would often skulk back to our fragrant boudoir and laugh at how comical the situation was. What we couldn't work out was how the other fifteen passengers on board appeared to be having a lovely time and didn't bat an eyelid when we were served up "yummy scones" that were burnt alongside luke warm tea and coffee. Blaming ourselves for being whinging pommes we just got on with it and in all fairness had a nice time with some really nice people so we mustn't complain. Actually saying that, we have complained, formally, in writing, asking for some of our money back but that's by-the-by. Possibly the best thing about the cruise was getting back to dry land, catching up with Eric (again, how we neglect him) and meeting up with our fellow passengers in a local bar. Our faith in people was soon restored when we realised we weren't the only ones who had a less than great time and so we had a good old bitch about about the trip. No one had wanted to say too much whilst we were on board but we had a great time regaling the many stories and highlights from the trip. My favourite quote was the host asking a couple from Belgium "What colour is the Belgianese flag?". That sums it up for me.

Anyway the good (??) news is that that was only one half of what we paid for and we are now in Rainbow beach about to head out on the second part tomorrow, a 3-day four-wheel drive safari on Fraser island, the world's largest sand island. We spent last night sat around our campfire keeping our fingers crossed that our experience is slightly less smelly on land than it was at sea.

Reef Encounters

Our days on 'Reef Encounter' were definitely some of the most memorable of our trip so far. Diving at the Great Barrier Reef was amazing - I could wax lyrical about diving through coral tunnels and the numerous sea animals that we saw but doing around four dives a day over four days means we have a lot of stories to tell. For me the diving highlights were seeing sharks, night diving and seeing a Morey eel swim past me and by far the best experience was swimming with a giant turtle. After diving we would jump straight into the outdoor hot tub, particularly nice after a night dive when the sky would be a blanket of shooting stars. Of course our life of luxury could only last so long and at 1pm on the second day the work part began. Whilst we were passengers it hadn't seemed so bad - 6 hosties and about 25 passengers to look after, potentially easy life we thought, until we started that is. The number of hosties fell to 5, there was a sudden surge of bookings, doubling the passenger numbers to nearly 60, oh and the ships air conditioning completely broke down! Working from 5:30 am till 9:30pm, in tropical humidity, in a kitchen with no air con was definitely an experience. As Shona - the 41 year old hostie, self-confessed 'intellectual snob', who knew everything, had done everything you had done only better and who never went in the kitchen to pot wash once - said, when she stuck her head round the kitchen door to see me and Ed literally dripping with sweat, "people pay hundreds to lose the body weight you're losing right now". Thanks for that Shona, now fuck off back to your oh so arduous napkin folding (I'm still bitter). The truth is that the work was actually fine, in fact it was the first few honest days work that me and Ed have done in around 7 years - as Ed commented, it made defrauding the nation seem like a walk in the park. Also the people we met out on the boat were fantastic, a big shout out has to go to Jilly, the 29 year old, non-lesbian, rugby playing P.E. Teacher from Worcester, who when drunk would suddenly start doing push ups and star jumps before performing the most amazing David Brent dance impersonation. It was a pleasure to sing Tammy Wynette's 'Stand By Your Man with you'! So with a tropical skin disease under his armpit and my blocked inner ear causing deafness, Ed and I left the ship very happy, if not a bit unstable on our feet.

Next we travelled North to Cape Tribulations - the Northern most point on the East coast of Australia accessible by a sealed road. Here the rain forest literally meets the reef, as it grows right onto the beach. A spectacular place where our stint of wildlife spotting began. Going on a night walk through the oldest rain forest in the world, we saw numerous spiders, water dragons and a 3 metre long python.

Hungry for more we then drove South to the Atherton Tablelands - an area around 1000 metres above sea level. We have had a very chilled out time here, walking Petersons Creek we have spotted platypus, gone to the famous Milla Milla waterfalls and swam at Lake Eacham, a beautiful lake formed from a volcanic crater. It has involved lots of stunning drives and walks - we are both feeling very lucky to be doing this right now. Continuing the David Bellamy theme we are about to head to Magnetic Island for koala spotting and lazing on the beach.

A Whale Of a Time

Before I start this entry I just want to add something to the last one. When Matt says he 'lost' his beloved Birkenstocks, what he meant to say was that he placed them down on the beach, got ridiculously drunk and then forgot where he'd left them. Now I have now room to criticize at all (I lost my phone on the same night), but when he spent the equivalent of FORTY English pounds on a new pair I couldn't bite my tongue and found myself shouting at him in the street "And to think you begrudged me a two pound blackcurrant and raspberry frappe!". Not the butchest thing I've ever said I'll admit but necessary nonetheless. I hoped that adding this would give me closure on the matter and it has. For now.

So we left Hervey Bay a few days ago and before we did we went on the whale watching trip. It was such a fantastic experience, I don't think either Matt or I realised just how amazed and awestruck we would be by the sight of them. They came so close to the boat and the anticipation of them breaking through the water was so exciting. The pictures and film we took don't do it justice in the slightest, but as we chose to go on a sail boat we were able to get really near to them, and watched on as they slapped the water, blew through their air holes and breached (jumped out of the water). It was the stuff of Attenborough programmes in the flesh. The experience was temporarily spoiled for 20 minutes by a boat load of (what we presumed were) American tourists. They whooped and clapped whenever the whales did anything, clearly unable to differentiate between the natural behaviour of animals in the wild and the performances they've undoubtedly witnessed at some Sealife centre. It wold have taken far more than that though to spoil it for us and when a group of dolphins swam alongside and under our boat it was the cherry on the cake. We spent the end of the day sunbathing on deck and boomnetting - being dragged along behind the boat holding on to a net.

Having got the mechanical work done on Eric we set forth on our two day drive up the east coast to Cairns. Eric did us proud, we only had to call out the NRMA (equivalent to the AA) TWICE, which if nothing else is consistent of the old boy. The drive was really enjoyable with beautiful weather, stunning scenery, amazing roadkill and 'The Greatest Power Ballads Ever' (discs 1, 2 AND 3) which we sang along to at the top of our voices.

So we are now in Cairns and it is scorching. We've booked ourselves on a live aboard dive trip so we'll be staying on a boat for the next few days. In order to stay on it longer we have agreed to be 'hosties' which means we will have to work, heaven forbid. Handing out meals, washing up etc and in return we get to stay on free for two extra days, all meals included and 3 dives a day too, bargain!

It's sweltering so I'm going to get back in the pool now x