Secondly the reason I've asterisked the blog title above is because we've received a rather severe complaint and telling off from my Aunty Mary in regards to the obscene language that Ed and especially me, often use in our posts. According to my Aunty Ann, Mary's daughter, she literally had to be scraped off the floor after reading my last entry. In order to make amends I've decided to make this post completely swear word free. Unfortunately Aunty Mary it is just a one off for you and we will be returning to our foul mouthed ways in the future cos we find rude words dead funny!
Anyway back to the travel stories. After Byron Bay we got to Coffs Harbour and the rain continued to pour. In fact it was freak weather for Australia and all that was left for us to do was go down to the local bowls club and watch Ian Pike, a one man country band who did the most courageous Elvis impersonation I've ever had the misfortune to see. Even more frightening was watching the couple ballroom dancing to it! Naturally me and Ed loved it and it quickly became our regular. Apart from that not much happened in Coffs, finally the rain stopped, the sun shone and I gave Eric the clean of his life.
So on we went to our next stop, the Hunter Valley, New South Wales' most famous wine region. It was also time for Ed to wheel out his one and only joke: What did the grape say when it got stood on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine! Funny the first time, plain irritating the twentieth. Our plan in the Hunter was to educate ourselves about wine and take in the scenery. Having romantic images of small country roads and acres of vineyards we decided to hire bikes from the aptly named Grapemobile - cue another opportunity for Ed to tell his grape joke once again. Now me and Ed walk a lot but we are not riders, in fact we've never ridden a bike on a main road or any great distance but we thought it didn't look that hard and we booked the bikes for three days.
Day One - Morning: I choose our route, a gentle 20 mile circular bike trip on incredibly hilly roads - roads which actually turned out to be more like motorways, with huge trucks driving by us, oh and a temperature of around 35 degrees Celsius.
Day One - Evening: After our 8 hour cycle is over Ed can hardly sit down and I have feelings in my groin that I've never experienced before and never want to again.
Day Two: We take the bikes back and ask for a refund. Apart from the bike riding we actually had a fantastic time in the Hunter. We've taken wine appreciation courses, drank sparkling Rose in the park, toured vineyards and tasted lots of incredible wines and cheeses. It was a very chilled and relaxing place to leave but leave we did, with a sparkling chardonnay in hand as we headed to the Blue Mountains.
The Blue Mountains got their name from the blue mist that rises from millions of eucalyptus trees and hangs in the mountain air, tinting the sky and the range alike. We stayed here for four days and did some amazing walks. 
The most famous of these takes in the views of the famous Three Sisters. These three rocky points take their name from an Aboriginal Dreamtime story which relates how the Kedumba people were losing a battle against the rival Nepean people: the Kedumba leader, fearing that his three beautiful daughters would be carried off by the enemy, turned them to stone, but was tragically killed before he could reverse his spell.
In order to get a better view of the Three Sisters I took us on a short hike up 900 steps, as you can see from the photo below, Ed was overjoyed with the result.
However, the walk that really blew us away was the Grand Canyon Loop. Taking around 4 hours to walk the circuit, pictures just don't do it justice. We walked deep down into gorges, brimming with magical scenery, beautiful creeks, waterfalls and ended with amazing views of the mountains.
By our third day the weather began to take a turn for the worse. Laying in Eric we watched some amazing electrical storms that were sometimes a little too close for comfort. Then, once the rain had broken a little, we decided there was only one thing to do, you guessed it, go to the pub. Luckily it happened to be Trivia night at the Ivanhoe Inn. After making ourselves comfortable on a paisley sofa we were invited to join the team of Betty, Mary and Terry, a group of retired ex-pats who lived in the area. Uninspired by my team name suggestion of Quiz Team Aguilera we finally settled on The Five of Us - personally I still think my idea was better but Betty was insistent. Run by an ex-pat called Geoffrey, who looked frighteningly like Reg Holsworth from Corrie, with an open red bow tie and wielding his second bottle of Jacob's Creek Riesling in one hand and a microphone in the other - the quiz started and battle commenced. After 40 questions and a few brain teasers, I'm glad to report that we came a very respectable second, losing by just one point. Our prize was one of Denise's savoury chicken and mushroom pies, which Betty, Mary and Terry very kindly donated to us. We also had another stroke of luck when Ed correctly guessed the weight of the largest chocolate ever made and won us a bottle of wine (just in case you are interested it weighed 2280 grams and was an After Eight mint).
We then hung around the bar because Ed was desperate to get chatting to Geoffrey. His wish was soon granted as Geoffrey stumbled over, now on his third bottle of Riesling, and said a slightly slurred hello. A very odd night then began as Geoffrey introduced his friend Jean, a woman whose hair had been dyed black to within an inch of its life. She then proceeded to sing hits from Phantom of the Opera, accompanied by Russ on the piano, a slightly autistic jazz musician wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Once the musical review had finished, Geoffrey then tried to grope Jean as she attempted to go home to her husband, five times she refused his offer of walking her to her car - it was absolutely priceless. Naturally we loved Geoffrey and his non stop trivia facts and we should hopefully be joining one of his quiz teams when we move to Sydney. It was a fantastic night and a fitting end to our time in the Blue Mountains.
So on we go to Sydney for a harbour dinner cruise, to celebrate our 6th anniversary and we have cunningly managed to get tickets to the live final of Australian Pop Idol too! Fabulous.
1 comment:
Brilliant! You're even getting censored - now that's blog kudos.
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